The First Time Guest....

A car pulls up, he walks in the door
and looks all around, from ceiling to floor
He comes to the desk and will loudly state
I want your best room at a cheap rate!

You smile and try to be as pleasant as you can
And then he starts his list of demands
Non-smoking of course and on the first floor
And did I mention close to the door?

"Is your restaurant open, do they serve good food?
I don't want to drive, I'm not in the mood."
You tell him the rate, he goes to the car
Then comes in to inquire of the bar

Then he goes out to consult with his wife.
Is this really a big decision in life?
In they come with the family in tow-
His wife, his children, standing four in a row.

You wait there wondering what the next question will be
Then he says it, "Do children stay free?"
The answer is no when he asked about discounts,
He pulls out a coupon-the tension now mounts.

"What time is check-out?" you reply "It's at noon."
You think "Will this end, is there a full moon?"
You give him the key, they're off to their room.
A few more like this I'll be nuts as a loon.

(Courtesy of the management & staff at the Lancaster, PA Holiday Inn and Alden K Williams author of "..oops I thought this room was vacant")