Hotel Comedy Stories

This section is true life stories of some of the funniest and most outrageous things that have happened at hotels.  If you have a story you would like to submit, please select here and give us a description of the event.


About a month ago my housekeepers went into a room that had vacated and found the remains of one hell of a sex party.  The sheets, blanket, and comforter were smeared with sexual body paint and the garbage had several pair of edible underwear.  Needless to say that with the smell in the room we had to do a full deep clean to get it rent-able again. 

(Courtesy of Travis    Fairfield Inn, WI)


OK, this is a little sick, but here goes.  One of our housekeepers came walking down the hall holding a string of beads and asked our head housekeeper what they were because the looked strange.  Without having to do an inspection the beads she informed the housekeeper that they were USED ANAL BEADS!   The housekeeper immediately dropped the beads and let out a scream that echoed through the hotel.  After she calmed down a second she explained that her and another housekeeper were sniffing them because they were trying to figure out what the funny smell was on them.  How gross is that?

(Courtesy of Travis    Fairfield Inn, WI)


"As I was checking on our meeting room at 4am when a guest came down to read some of the magazines in the lobby.  No problem, right? Except he came down in his UNDERWEAR and SLIPPERS!

(Courtesy of Tyler  Fairfield Inn, WI) 

"I saw a foreigner who was staying with us in the hall and asked him if I could help him.  In broken English he said "ass".  I said, "excuse me?" and again he said "ass".  Not sure what he wanted, I kept walking and he followed me saying, "ass, ass".  Finally, I realized he wasn't trying to solicit me and that he was looking for the ICE."

(Courtesy of Tyler Fairfield Inn, WI) 

At a Comfort Inn, a guy checked in at about 11pm and after a quick trip to the room, he headed strait to the whirlpool.  There is a camera that monitors the whirlpool from the front desk.  Bobbi, who was working the desk, noticed that the man was "pleasuring himself:" in the whirlpools jet intake hole.  Bobbi, once she saw this in the camera monitor, proceeded to turn off the circuit breaker to the whirlpool to get him to stop.  Upon this happening, he got out of the hot tub naked, wrapped a towel around himself, and went to the front desk to find out the problem.  Bobbi made a point to let him know there was a camera in there and "yes, it does look like the circuit breaker must have tripped", hoping that he would get the idea that she can see what he is doing.  She turned the circuit breaker back on, assuming he got the point and that would be the end of it.  Immediately upon getting back in there he was going at it again.  Once again she saw him and killed the breaker once more.  Again, he came up with only a towel asking what the problem was and again she said "let me check the camera. Sure enough it has stopped again."  Surely he had to get the point this time so she turned it on and he was back at it almost immediately.   Again she tripped the breaker and again he came to the desk.  Being a little mad now she told him it must be broke and that she was going to leave it closed.  At this point he says to her, " I see there is a camera in there"  to which she replied, "yes, we can see everything."  Shortly after this he checked out never actually using the room.   

Related story here 

(Courtesy of Bobbi, Comfort Inn, WI)  This story was told to me by her second hand so it is paraphrased and not her exact words 

"The funniest thing that ever happened at the Super 8 where I work took place during the Summer of 2000.  A lady in her late 20's had gone in the bathroom for a morning bath.  But, she slipped, fell, and her middle toe got tightly wedged in the drain.  She screamed for help.  Eventually her friend who was returning from continental breakfast heard her.  She was very embarrassed because she was NUDE (duh) and begged us not to call the fire department.  Her friend covered her the best she could with towels while our maintenance man got his tools and worked on removing her toe from the drain.  We're happy to say the toe was saved!!! "

(courtesy of Jak, Super 8, OH)  - Thanks Jak!

A pissed off guest had the following conversation with a front desk employee:

EMPLOYEE:  I'm sorry sir, but I have no record of your reservation and we are booked
GUEST (angry):  That's Bull, so your not going to get me a room tonight?
EMPLOYEE:  That's what I just said sir.
GUEST (very angry):  You know, with a fuckin' attitude like yours your never going to amount to anything.
EMPLOYEE:  I appreciate your concern for my career goals, but I still have no room for you.  Have a good night!

(Courtesy of front desk, Oshkosh, WI)

Last weekend we had a guest staying who worked for the government in some capacity.  When housekeeping entered the room to service it they found a note stating the following, 

                    "Thank you for servicing my room.  Please feel free to come back and join me after 7 o'clock"

This was left on top of a pornographic magazine

(Courtesy of Coreen, Stevens Point, WI)

During our annual inspection by the city health department they were walking the halls and inspecting rooms.  When walking down the hall, the inspector asked if we recycle magazines.  We answered "no" thinking it was an odd question to ask.  After he left we went back up to that floor and noticed that the housekeeping cart he walked past had 3 playboy magazines on them that we found in a room.  He must really wonder why we have porno magazines on our carts.

(Courtesy of Coreen, Stevens Point, WI)

"One of our wonderful guests decided to take a poop in our hot tub and not tell anyone.  Shortly after another guest comes to me after using the hot tub and asks why the bubbles were brown.  (I think I am going to be sick!)

(Courtesy of Jen, Gurnee, IL)

"When I was working as an interim manager at the Days Inn in Grand Forks, ND I was sleeping in my room when I received a call from my night desk clerk at about 2am.  I answered the phone and Ryan said that there was a guy by the vending machine that I needed to go talk to him.  So I got up and dressed and as I walked down towards the vending machine and saw a guy who was extremely drunk standing there peeing on the machine.  I said 'what the hell are you doing?!'    He just zipped up and walked away. That is when I had him removed from the hotel and took a mop to the vending machines.  Fun, fun, fun"

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

"When I was working as a GSA (Guest Service Agent) at the Country Inn & Suites in Eau Claire, WI  we would regularly give free rooms to some of he players on the Green Bay Packers when they were in town doing charity promotions.  After their fund raisers they would often go to a local bar to party.  One evening one of the players asked if he and one of the bar's waitresses could use the hot tub after hours.  I agreed since they promised not to be too noisy.  About twenty minutes later when doing my property walk I noticed them having sex in the hot tub.  Since they had been drinking a lot I guess they didn't care that anyone who walked into the hotel could see them through the pool room windows.  To top it all off when they got out of the whirlpool and the waitress walked back to the room she decided to do so completely naked.  When I saw her in the hall and asked her to get to her room and get clothes, she just stood there butt-naked chatting with me!  I am just glad that this was 3am and no other guests saw her."

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

"When I was conducting a front desk meeting at the Fairfield Inn in Stevens Point, WI we took a break at about 7pm  so that the staff could get something to drink.  As we are all congregating behind the front desk before we headed back someone looked at our pool monitor and there were two college kids going at it in the whirlpool. This is the second time this has happened to me (see above) so I wasn't quite as surprised as the rest of the entire desk staff who sat there watching the two and laughing hysterically.  Finally Becky, one of our GSA's, decided she would go in there and ask them how they were enjoying there stay.  As Becky went in they flew off each other so fast.  Becky walked over and asked them how things were going as the rest of us were all huddled around the pool camera monitor listening and laughing hysterically.  It was quite a meeting!" 

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

"We had a large group of rugby players staying with us and the first night I  had numerous problems with them and called the cops and evicted 10 people.  On the second night when they came through I warned them that they had to shut up, because if I had one complaint they were gone.  Well low and behold I see an in-house call on the phone and it was a  lady in 303.  She said that the walls were shaking from the room next door which is 301,  the rugby people.  So I grab my cordless phone, called the cops and was told that they would be on their way to help me evict them since it was little old me and about 30 huge rugby players. When the police arrived I show them the way to 301.  So me and the 2 cops went up to the room, I bitched the guest out, and the cops helped me get rid of him.  As two of the officers escorted the people on 301 out,  the other two officers and I  decided to walk the halls to make sure everything was under control.  As we got to the end of the hall  I noticed that the fire door was closed to the stairwell.  Since they are never closed  I knew something was up.  When  I opened the door there was a rugby player and a girl going at it against the wall, both buck naked!  Her clothes were on the floor, as well as his shirt and shoes, and he had his pants and boxers around his ankles.  As I opened the door all I said was "HOLY SHIT!"  then the cop says "What the hell is going on!"  The girl quick pulled away from the guy, grabbed their clothes and ran upstairs.  The rugby guy faces us, as nothing is wrong, then starts booking ass upstairs as he is pulling his pants and boxers back on.  The cops and I quick ran after him, but he got into some room before we could catch him!  The cops and I sat around afterwards for about 20 min to make sure everything was okay, and we just laughed.   I never did find out who it was, but that is one incident I will never forget!  Only working in a hotel would you see something like that!"  

(Courtesy of Sue, Stevens Point, WI)

"A quick short story- When housekeeping walked into the room of one of our very regular guests they were greeted with the biggest surprises.  She always travels alone when staying with us and she knew that housekeeping always cleans her room at the same time.  When she stepped out for the day, housekeeping entered the room to find a whole slew of vibrators and other erotic toys spread out all over the bed!  Needless to say that the entire staff took a "field trip" to her room that day because no one could believe it."

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

TRAVEL AGENT STORY

 "I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted 'I know it is real, I see people check in every week!"

(Courtesy of Mark Lind at http://www.marklind.com/jokes.html)

"When I was running the Days Inn in Grand Forks, ND we found out that one of our rooms has 15 high schoolers drinking and partying.  My GSA decided to kick them out and to get them moving he knocked on the door and told them that he had called the cops and they were on the way.  At that moment all 15 kids kicked out the screen in the window and proceeded to one by one jump out of two story window into the snow bank below and sprint off to their cars!  Granted, I had to replace a screen, but watching them jump from the window was the funniest damn thing to watch."

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

TRAVEL AGENT STORY

"A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.'"

(Courtesy of Mark Lind at http://www.marklind.com/jokes.html)

"When I was running the Days Inn in Grand Forks, ND we had a flood and needed to evacuate the entire town.  We had all our guests evacuated a couple days earlier and were housing national guard troops who were helping sandbag and keep peace in the evacuated town.  When it came time for us to finally leave the town and lock up the doors we were waiting outside one of our sister hotels with the last of the national guard guys for their ride, which they said would be along any minute.  To my surprise, about 5 minutes later an army helicopter flew over and proceeded to land in the parking lot, pick up the guards, and took off.  It was one of the craziest things I ever saw!"

(Courtesy of Travis, Stevens Point, WI)

"A famous male soap opera star came into town for a special city-wide event in which he was the guest of honor. A very perky room service attendant was determined to meet the star. She traded shifts with other associates so she could be around if he called. As luck would have it, he called on the third night of his stay requesting champagne and hors d'oeuvres. She was so excited that she made a special arrangement of flowers and made the tray look very nice.

With her hand shaking, she knocked on the door and said "Room Service" but he did not answer. She knocked again. She was about to leave the tray outside of his door when the door opened. There was her soap hunk standing at the door wearing nothing but a towel. As he moved back to let her in, the door snagged his towel and it fell to the ground. She screamed, dropped the beautiful tray she had prepared and ran down the hall. She was so embarrassed by this experience she begged other associates to take her shifts so she would never see him again."

(Courtesy of Jeff McCall at http://www.darwin.net/hospnews/hotelhil.asp)