Stupid Guest Comments

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Below are some of the stupidest things guest have called or asked front desk employees.  All are 100% true...

"Is there somewhere I can buy this coffeemaker for my mom.  If not then I am just going to take it."

Heard a mom yelled down the hall, "Honey, don't hump the soda machine.  You have to put a quarter in."

"Is there a strip joint close?" (Not really that odd of a question, but still throws me every time someone asks)

"Do you have the Playboy Channel?"   (How does the saying go?...The freaks come out at night) 

"I am from Ohio and I am dying for a joint.  Do you have one or know where I can get one?" 
                    (Yeah, we keep some on hand...just in case)

"Your rooms don't have water beds do they?  My wife gets sea-sick."

"Did you get my request for a new mattress?" (don't worry sir, we only use them once and change them after each guest!)

"Did anyone walk out the front door lately?" (Its a hotel, what the hell do you think?)

"Do a lot of people steal towels?.......I didn't"  (Yeah Right!)

"I was calling to find out if you have and used sheets for sale."  (I have no comment for this one!)

"Where are the bagels?"  Stated while looking through paper supply drawers at breakfast. (Are bagels normally hidden in drawers?)

"Can I sleep in your lobby?"  Stated during a sold out special event

"Can you call some of your guests and see if anyone would mind sharing a room with me?"  Stated during a sold out special event

"Can I have 10 rolls of toilet paper to "TP" a car in the parking lot" (Are you sure 10 will be enough, maybe 11 would be better)

"I use to work for Marriott 3 years ago......can I still get get an employee rate tonight?" (ahhhh.....NO!)

"How much is it for a night with you?" Asked to a front desk employee  (real original...never heard that one before)

"I only have $0.27 left.  Can I get some money out of your cash drawer and bill it to my employer?" (yeah, take whatever you need!)

"Tonight I gave my underwear away at the bar!"  (Thanks for sharing that)

"How much does it cost for a toll-free, 1-800# call?"  (aaahhhh....let me check !?!....)      [Thanks for that one Scott!]

"Do you have shuttle service to the mall?" (Our hotel shares a parking lot with the mall)  [Thanks Jen!]

I asked some guests if they had any pool towels so I could wash a load and one said, "No, but you can have my underwear!"