Hotel Job Descriptions

General Manager
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a speeding locomotive
    Is faster than a speeding bullet
    Walks on water

Assistant Manager
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a switch engine
    Is as fast as a speeding bullet
    Walks on water if the sea is calm
    Talks with God

Chief Engineer
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
    Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
    Is faster than a speeding BB
    Walks on water if pool is indoor
    Talks with God if a special request is approved

F & B Manager
Barely clears Quonset hut
    Loses tug-a-war with locomotive
    Can fire a speeding bullet
    Swims well
    Is occasionally Addressed by God

Director Of Sales
Makes high marks on wall while trying to leap buildings
    Is run over by a locomotive
    Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury
    Dog Paddles
    Talks to animals

Account Executive
Runs into buildings
    Recognizes locomotive 2 out of 3 times
    Is not issued Ammunition
    Can stay a float with a life jacket
    Talks to walls

F & B Controller
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building
    Says "look at the choo choo
    Wets himself with a water pistol
    Plays in puddles

Lifts buildings and walks under them
    Kicks locomotives off the track
    Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
    Freezes water with a single glance
    He is God!

(Courtesy of Mark Young with Horizon Hotels and Alden K Williams author of "..oops I thought this room was vacant")